well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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