I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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