my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
