my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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