how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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