If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
