For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
