Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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