I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
