Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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