You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
