Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Sacagawea was the original milf.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
