I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
