Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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