I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
