other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
