brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
