Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
