I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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