Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
