Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
