i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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