That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
