so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
