you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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