Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
