Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my sisters under your porch take her home
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
