Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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