The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So much rum. So many feels.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
