thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
