I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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