i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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