Whoa Z and x make the same sound
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
