No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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