dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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