Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
