Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
