the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
