Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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