Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
