You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
