too bad you live with your parents still
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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