mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
