Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
