I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
