Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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