He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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