just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have tasted many bathrooms
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
