I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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