so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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